To anyone I’ve ever lied to, myself included.
This is to address all the times I have created stories, told lies, stretched the truth and even the times I’ve lied by hiding my feelings.
I have been trying to create a version of myself to fit in with what I think you expect of me. I have adopted traits, habits, likes and dislikes to create an identity that I think you will approve of. In believing my own lies I have neglected my true self and therefore my actions have not come from a place of truthfulness. I am sorry I am not the person you thought I was – or the person I thought I was.
Like many, I was uncomfortable in my own skin, I would put on a front to hide a person I thought would be rejected by you. I created a person who I wasn’t, who was so believable that I believed she was real too.
Discovering and unpicking the lies I have told myself and others over and over again has been a difficult process, one that is still ongoing. Sometimes it feels like it would be easier to go back to living that way, but I know I can never be truly happy if I do.
I am sorry now that we have to adapt to accept the person I really am – a person that I am happy being. I hope that this person will be accepted, although I no longer care for the opinions of people that don’t. I don’t need your judgement or negativity.
I have stopped living for the acceptance of others and have started living for myself.